Recent scientific studies in very sophisticated universities have proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that self-love is the key to a long and happy life. Experts warn that people should avoid other people at all cost. Most people will create environments of stress and unfulfilled expectations leading to depression and anxiety. Researchers found that it is far healthier to live alone and limit contact with other humans to buying food and gas. As far as a sex life the Researchers from Fortune 500 companies recommended masturbation. One leading scientist said,” Pleasuring ones self is way cheaper than going out on dates and in the long run way less stressful than eventual divorce and children.” All seem to agree that a friendless isolated life of self pleasure offered true longevity to the modern individual.